Today, my Facebook memories reminded me of two events that each happened at different times on this very day-- one was a joyous time, the other a place of deep grief.
I remember watching my belly grow and feeling my Gabriel's kicks when I was pregnant with him, it was just wonderful--a joyous time.
I also remember feeling paralyzed in the doctor's office after the doctor told us we would lose our babies, it was just plain awful--a place of deep grief.
This is life, isn't it? There are seasons of great celebration and other times of great pain. One year can be so different from the next and all of the ups and downs of emotions can be exhausting. It's so easy to trust God and rejoice in Him when life is easy, but it's the challenge of faith to trust Him when life hurts so very much. I am reminded of King David's words in Psalm 13:3-4,
"How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?"
The days of sorrow can feel so long because sometimes they go to some deep places of hurt and those seasons seem to move in slow motion. Like David, we ask, Lord how long will I have this sorrow in my heart each day? When will it end?
Here's what I love about David, he's not afraid to ask those tough questions of God and express his true emotion, yet he always comes back to what He knew about God.
Let me say that again a little differently because this is so important.
David was an emotional hot mess who was fed up with his life, but who chose to remember what He knew about God and live in that truth instead of the place his emotions and current circumstances may take him. Listen to what he says in v. 5-6,
"But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing the Lord’s praise,
for he has been good to me."
Now, here's what I know, I've been an emotional hot mess at times just like David, but through deep joy and even in the midst of deep pain, I remember Jesus and know the Lord has been good to me. That probably sounds a little funny to someone who doesn't know Jesus, but it's really true, it's not something I'm faking. No, it's something that's been done to my heart by God's deep abiding love for His children through the tenderness of His love and presence which comes through seasons of joy and even more so in sorrow. Beloved, remember Jesus.