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  • Writer's pictureAndrea Mercier

Marriage: The Importance of Understanding Men

Want to know one of the greatest things that has helped my marriage grow?

Working to understand men.

Did you know that most men use the words trust and respect interchangeably? This is why our respect is so important to them, it communicates we love and trust them. So, how can we show respect? By watching the words, we use. One of the biggest ways most men see that you respect them is by believing in them. Are you speaking words of criticism or words of encouragement and support? A simple, “I believe in you” goes a long way.

Have you ever wondered why most men always think about sex? Not only is it physical and the way their brains are made (something to do with this thing called the nucleus accumbens), it’s also about meeting an emotional need that communicates both love and desire. It’s his way to express his love and one of the ways he receives love and feels desired. So maybe the next time he comes knocking change the script from this is a selfish need to he is expressing his love for me. Girls, when you actually initiate sex just imagine what that communicates to them and then what consistent rejection communicates.

Have you ever wondered why men love to watch a game, play golf, or go fishing with other men while women typically grab coffee or just get together and talk? Well, most men connect with others through activity while women typically connect with others through relationship. So girls, when you man wants to do an activity with you that’s his way of connecting with you. It’s important that you find things you can do together because it can help to deepen your emotional bond.

Girls, we love a deeper emotional connection, don’t we? We sure do and I've found all of these things to be key in helping to deepen that emotional bond.

Here’s a couple books/studies I’ve found helpful on this journey:

“For Women Only” and “For Couples Only” by Shaunti Feldhahn “Respectfully Yours” by Dr. Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs “Fierce Women” by Kimberly Wagner

I've also studied Genesis Chapter 2 and Ephesians Ch 5.

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